Walking through St. Helier High St. in Jersey on Tuesday, you should have seen the amount of discounted ‘Ingerrrlaaand’ logo’d kit on sale …. Cheap T shirts by the gross. I bet all those plonkers with flags on their cars feel.. well, like plonkers now.
So, thank heaven it is all over. Two Shags and the usual political blood letting dominate the news again, even pushing the demise of Enron’s Ken Lay to the depths of page 5. Proof, if we ever needed it, that in the battle for the front page, a good political scandal has no equal.
I will end my cup comments by appending a joke, which is in effect a rehash of a fairly poor taste one set in South Africa, during apartheid. I’ll say no more..
Out on her royal yacht the queen was enjoying the sea air when she spied a man in the water off the port bow – clearly being menaced by a very large shark.
Through her binoculars she could see it was Christian Ronaldo, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark! The queen ordered the captain to change course to try and save the poor man, but she knew the yachts top speed would never get them there in time.
At that exact moment a speedboat containing three men wearing white tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs, beat the shark to death.
They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling …… It was the Queen calling them to the yacht.
On reaching yacht the Queen went into raptures about the rescue and said, “I’ll give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the England team would hate Ronaldo after the world cup. But I see that the England team are true heroes and should serve as a model for sportsmanship to other countries.” She knighted them and sailed away. As she departed Rooney asked the others, “Who was that?!
“That,” Beckham answered, “was our Queen. She rules the Commonwealth and knows everything about our country.”
“Well,” Rooney replied, “she knows F all about shark fishing. How’s the bait holding up?”
Thanks to Stuart for that one.