Reader Pheasant Martin sent these…. I so hope they are true and particularly like the one about the bomb technician….

WARNINGS ISSUED BY THE US MILITARY TO THEIR OWN TROOPS:

“Aim towards the enemy.” – Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher.

“When the pin is pulled, Mr Grenade is not our friend.” – US Marine Corps.

“Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground.” – USAF Ammo Troop.

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.” – Infantry Journal.

“A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what is left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance.

“It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. U. S. Air Force Manual.

“Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo.” – Infantry Journal.

“Tracer rounds work both ways.” – US Army Ordnance.

“Five-second fuses only last three seconds.” – Infantry Journal.

“Any ship can be a minesweeper… once.” – Anon.

“Do not draw fire; it irritates the people around you.” – Your comrades.

“If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him – USAF Ammo Troop.